Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all
And sweetest is the gale is heard; and sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm...
~Emily Dickinson

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

I don't care what anyone thinks, or says.

Such a powerful notion.
It takes a strong mind, calm body, and pure spirit to really live by this mantra.
At least that is my opinion based on my own personal experience with trying it out on myself.

I do great about 90 percent of the time I think.
And considering the constant "thoughts" I find myself being presented with or involved in every day, I think that's pretty damn good.
It is a great daily life exercise and one that has taught me the most about myself and allowed me to really observe my own thoughts with great care and emotional intelligence.
And...it took me a long time to get to this 90 percent place...a long, winding road...but I got there eventually.

Anyways, enough about me.

Today as Kannon was sitting at the table cutting out circle after circle and pasting them into a whirlwind of patterns all connecting, he stopped all of a sudden and looked at me...


"Yes buddy what's up?!"

"I am happy....( he gives me an honest smile )"
"I like art...( he holds up his circular creation )"

"Well that's awesome Kannon...being happy is a good thing..."

"I ran today...I ran in the sun..."
"Got lots of sand in shoes..."

"I know buddy...I saw all that sand, but I am so happy you had a good time"

"It's ok momma, don't be mad at sand...I am happy"

Then out of nowhere before I could even break a smile, he says this with both hands up in the air...

"I don't care what anyone thinks mamma...I am happy"


After he made his honest, pure statement he turned around and went back to work.

I am still smiling.

My baby boy is happy and he doesn't care what anyone says.

Well something is getting through to that precious soul of his.
Clearly he is learning what is important in life.

Running in the sun, doing whatever creative project makes you happy...getting sand in your shoes...smiling and throwing your hands up in the air with such honesty and proclaiming your freedom from judgement...

How did he learn this so early on?
Why did this take me so long to learn for myself?

Kinda makes my eyebrows curve in wonder.

Ironic that it took me having a son with Autism and having to face all the daily battles with myself, him, and society for me to finally be at peace with this mantra.
I guess sometimes it takes the polar opposite of what your soul needs and what it thinks it needs to crash together and open your eyes up for acceptance.
Sometimes unfortunately at the expense of Kannon I have learned the hardest human lessons that my soul had to face.

And yet after all he has been through, he can raise his arms in complete joy...

I don't care what anyone says, Kannon is truly an enlightened, intelligent, thoughtful soul.

I will throw my arms up and surrender to this notion any day :)