Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all
And sweetest is the gale is heard; and sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm...
~Emily Dickinson

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Happy Birthday Kalena

A mothers wish...

I wish that when I physically leave this earth my children will love each other as much as I loved them while I was here.

I know this blog is based on my son who has Autism. All the adventures we have had...all that is still to come. I share in hopes of those who read my stories will try to open their minds and hearts to those who are different than they are. I hope people realize the beauty that lies beneath the surface and try to experience love for others through the eyes of a mother who has had to redefine her definition of motherhood, love, and human understanding.

Today I write for my daughter. The "other" child.
The one who has always had to stand in the wings while her brother constantly took center stage.
Not because he was better...simply because he had to.

She always waited. She always knew inherently that her brothers needs came before hers.
Beautifully without complaint. She just accepted her place in our family and always had a smile on her face...and in her soul.
This is love.

This is Kannon's sister.

Not today though. Today, this is Kalena.

Yes, she has a name. A beautiful one.

If I had to use cliches, which are amazingly effective, I would use these for Kalena:

- The wind beneath my wings...
- The foundation to my castle...
- The silent partner...
- My sunshine...my only sunshine...you make me happy when skies are grey...

She is simply the cloud that holds our family skies together. Without her existence this family would not work. It would not be balanced, interesting, or a counter point to which I refer to every single day.

Today is her Birthday.
What a gift to be celebrated.

So in her honor I had to share her glory, if only for her to read when she is older.
So she knows how precious she has been to me over the years. So she knows that without her being by my side during these tough years I would not have had the strength to claw my way out of the holes Autism buried me in at times. She really has been my best friend in everything I have been through.
I am blessed to call her my daughter.

I was given the best of both worlds.
One with chaos, confusion, unknown territories and fear...to help my soul grow.
The other with solid ground, blue skies, clear air and hope...to remind me of the simplicity life can hold.
They have brought balance to my existence and to one another.

But the best gift of all...

I know that when I leave this earth they will have each other.

Their love will carry them through, no matter what the time will be.

Love gets love.
Love gives love.

At the end of the day we must honor the balance of those in our lives. We must accept that we have no control of others lives and we must find the beauty in our own lives.

It's not all rainbows and lollipops...
But as I have been taught through my children, we can make our own castles, question every situation, and make good choices.
Friends are a choice, but family is given to you for a reason.
Life lessons are powerful, painful, humbling, and even laughable. However, they are lessons to be learned from, to grow from.
Ironically, my children have taught me more than anyone in my life. They have showed me an innocence and clarity that was beyond my capability. I am eternally grateful.

Happy Birthday Kalena.

You are truly a gift worth celebrating.