The lines from this move are what he is using to express himself...
It changes from week to week usually.
He will have a favorite movie of the week and from that movie Kannon chooses to communicate with me, with his world.
Technically speaking this is called:
repetition of words: the compulsive repetition of words spoken by somebody else, often a sign of a psychiatric disorder
Most of us in Autism world are very familiar with this term and live with the repercussions daily.
As I mentioned earlier, my head was pounding...no screaming.
I have been suffering from migraines for the past few months for some reason.
Wow are they fun.
So as I laid down Kannon sat next to me, put his hand on my forehead and said, "momma ouchie?"
"Yes Kannon momma has a headache."
"Oh...well I have a plan, water goes in the top...food comes out the bottom"...
( A line from his movie )
"Oh, I see baby...that sounds yummy. Mommy needs to rest for a bit though o.k buddy...can you sit nicely and watch your movie please?"
He sat down next to me again, put a blanket over the two of us and sat there...
I quickly began to dose off, then as I was closing my eyes Kannon put his hand on my leg and said this:
"It's o.k momma, I hurt sometimes too"
"I hurt too"
He then looked straight ahead and for the next hour sat there silent.
Watching his movie as I rested next to him.
When I decided to sit up and make us lunch, Kannon put his hand on my shoulder and said,
"All better mom?"
"No buddy not quite, but I will be just fine don't worry"
"I know mamma...I know...you have to be"
"You have to be"...
So, even though Kannon may not be able to always express his emotions, my god can he ever speak from his heart.
I am always amazed at his creative abilities to get his point across.
He is right, I have to be o.k.
And I am sure he does hurt, more than I will ever know...more than he can ever accurately express to me in HIS words.
But for now, I will continue to listen to everything he is saying, as I know he is trying to always tell me something.
I have to listen, whether it is movie talk, or the 3-4 word sentences he gets out every now and then.
I have to know that he is o.k somehow...
Just like he has to know I am o.k...
I have to be...