Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all
And sweetest is the gale is heard; and sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm...
~Emily Dickinson

Monday, November 26, 2012

Goodbye J.

How do you let go...
How can you take a step forward when sometimes all you want to do is stand still...sit down...bury your head and cry.
Cry out of frustration, love, and loss.

Everything in life has the potential to hurt you.
Nothing in life is predictable.
But that is what makes it painfully beautiful.
The hard lessons our hearts go through...

As of tomorrow Kannon no longer has a therapy team.
Due to internal strife and policy changes all of his therapists gave their 2 week notices 2 weeks ago...
This includes our angel, whom I will call J.
J is his main therapist.
The one who has held his team together over the past 4.5 years without fail...without her Kannon would not be where he is today.

J has been on Kannon's team since day 1.
She is his best friend...his comfort blanket...his true love in life besides family.
That's because now she is family.

So tomorrow we must say goodbye to J.
She is moving on to better opportunity, to a place where hopefully she will find happiness.

Such is life.
Sometimes you come across people who really give a damn.
Who truly make a difference in this world.
Smart, savvy, amazing souls.
They can't help but touch your life and make a difference in your little world...

Kannon has always found a way to feel the beauty in life.
He rarely is down or sad...a troubled heart is just something he does not have.

When I told Kannon that J was "leaving"...she won't be coming back to our house anymore to do work,  it stopped him in his tracks.
"Is J mad at me?"
"Kannon is good boy, not make J mad..."

He broke down.
He dropped his head as if it had no strength to hold itself up and cried.

He cried and cried.
He wiped his tears.
He wiped away mine.

"It's o.k momma... J will find love again..."
"It's gonna be o.k."
His heart yet again overcoming pain...overcoming the obvious and feeling through it all.
His strength and actions are inspiring.
Through his own pain and loss he still thought of J.
He wanted her to be happy...to find love again.

J came over on a day off to say goodbye.
To take a walk with Kannon, just the two of them.
She said she felt as if she needed his approval to move on...this is how much she loves Kannon.
It is so real. The love, respect, and admiration they both have for one another is beyond special.

On their walk he asked her to marry him.
He thought if he did she wouldn't leave.

He wanted forever.
I now realize why he has always loved princess movies...why he always chooses princess dolls and fairy tale movies over matchbox cars or nerf guns.

He believes in happily ever after...

If this doesn't prove souls talk to one another without words, then I don't know what would.
J was there from the beginning.
J helped Kannon learn language...learn his name...his colors...
J never gave up on Kannon, even when things seemed impossible.
J was Kannon's happily ever after.

Thank you J.
You have no idea how much you mean to our hearts.
You have made a permanent indentation on our lives.
You are wonderful.

Kannon's life, heart, and mind is better because of your hard work, love, and dedication to your craft.

Kannon may never propose again...
As his mother I never knew it was even possible for him to comprehend the concept.
But I love that he believes in an ever lasting love.
One that can be solidified with words.
Even though in the beginning words weren't there...

Love finds a way.

It always finds a way if it was meant to be, no matter what the relationship is...

We love you J.

Goodbye, and thank you.
To the moon and back, thank you...



  1. Tear jerker indeed! Do you mind if I share this story with employee's in training? I would love them to know how they can touch/inspire the folks we serve in the way that J has toched Kannon. I'm so glad that you guys have been able to have such an experience. There will be others and Kannon will continue to share his heart. Knowing you, his spirit is a true reflection of the love you give him. Thinking of you both as you endure this transition.


  2. Thank you Heather :)
    Please feel free to share with them! I would LOVE for therapists/teachers to know that what they do is nothing short of wonderful.
    The world needs good therapists and teachers, they are life changing individuals who help mold our children into better people...
    Big hugs to you and your beautiful family :)