I have found the peace after the past few weeks of ups and downs...
Kannon was having some tough allergies/behaviors and we had to up heave our "normal" routine and make some needed changes.
So, here we are.
Another day living with Autism, and it isn't terrible.
In fact, I have been smiling all day.
I feel great...renewed...strong.
I have found that acceptance in the bad times make the good times that much sweeter.
I accept the little bumps we go through every day with Autism, and I am getting better and better at going over them.
I still get sad and overwhelmed at times, but that is only because Autism will beat you to the line of "ready, set, go"....
Oh crap, I'm behind again...when did someone say go???
But, I eventually catch up...it makes me stronger.
I can look at my boy and see the beauty in all of this.
I can see the beautiful face I created, his warm eyes, brown hair, and perfect smile.
I can understand that this is the biggest lesson in both of our lives and we are doing it together.
Not a lot of people can say that.
I am doing everything step by step with Kannon...and because of that I can see all the small victories I may have missed if he was off without me.
I have found the beauty in managing my time and sticking to my rigid routine.
Kannon needs the routine, and it makes things easier for me because at least I know what I need to do each day.
The behaviors, mood, incidents are all variables and differ from day to day...but the routine is always underlying all of it.
There is comfort in that.
I have found the beauty in the ups and downs.
The highs and lows, the good times, and not so good times...the clarity with the fuzzy.
It is all part of my everyday life.
It is all o.k.
I am o.k.
I sometimes need to remind myself that I can go through the down times and I will come out of them even stronger...now that's a great thing.
Autism has strengthened my spirit, mind, and body.
And it does it every single day.
Not a lot of things can do that.
I am happy today because I know I can get through anything.
Because I have.