Kannon continues to be my teacher in life.
His insight and few words that he does speak are sometimes mind bending.
He has been home sick since last Thursday and has been spending a lot of time silent on the couch watching his movies and going in and out of sleep...
He is a great "sick" kid. Honestly he just lays there. No echolalia, no movie talk, no crying...just silence.
Every once and awhile he will muster up the energy to ask for "juice please"...then silence yet again.
The one thing he does like for me to do is sit with him and rub his back and play with his hair, I welcome it since usually this is overstimulating for his senses and he will push me away at times when I try to do this when he's not sick.
So I sat down next to him, rubbing his back and told him how happy I was he was here at home with me enjoying the peaceful day...it was our day together.
I told him over and over again, there's no place like home when you feel sick...
Then today he decided it was time to bless me with his beautiful insight that I have come to enjoy, welcome, and truly listen to.
We had just visited his doctor, we walked out to the car hand in hand and got in.
Once we got in the car he simply said to me,
"No looking back mamma...I am home"
My head jerked back a bit in amazement at such a statement.
I didn't say anything the car ride home, neither did he.
Just silence.
After we got home, he settled back on the couch with his pad of paper and drawing tools...
About 30 minutes later he came into my office, put the picture down in front of me and said again,
"No looking back mamma...I am home"
This time he hugged me, grabbed my face looked me in the eyes then walked away.
I guess I should never wonder how he feels about me.
About his path.
About where his hearts intentions lay.
He told me this today :)
peace.
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No looking back. I am home. Kannon what a wonderful beautiful amazing gift you are to your mom. Kary, you are so loved. And there is no greater proof than this. :-)
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