I've learned so much over the years being in the situation/life that I am in.
Overall I am grateful, happy, and love waking up to each new day with my family and friends.
I think one of the most important lessons I have learned is that when the heart hurts, the head will take over...and when your head hurts or is full of confusing thoughts, the heart will take over.
That we all put up walls in our lives, and we also all have walls to break down.
You have to be able to let things go.
Take a deep breath and inhale the blessings all around you.
They truly are there if you choose to see them.
I have watched my beautiful children grow into human beings, exploring their world and learning new things every day.
I have learned to let go of their hands a little more each day...to just let them be.
Slowly but surely I have learned that without trust in the process and the people I have chosen to have in my life I will never move forward.
I have learned that forward motion is vital to life.
When things have become stagnant, or sticky, I simply remember that without courage and hope for better moments there is nothing.
I love that people are different.
Different views of life, different ways of doing daily routines.
It brings a sense of movement to the atmosphere of life.
I have learned from watching others.
Out of respect, out of love, and out of sheer curiosity I have seen the beauty that lies within each human spirit...no matter how different it may be by my perception.
I have decided to not define things anymore.
I feel it limits my outlook.
It pushes my heart inward and it feels wrong...
This has truly helped me get through some very tough moments in my life.
I still close my eyes and revisit moments I had with my father, grandmother, and grandfather, who have all passed on... I allow myself private moments like this to reflect and remember the good times.
I choose to honor them in my own way.
I choose to not let grief consume my heart.
I honor their beautiful, different lives and doing so gives me strength and insight to my own present moments.
I am still so young and have so much to learn.
I do know that thus far my journey has been full of challenges and heavy, heart pressing moments...
I can only hope that I will continue to find beauty in all of this.
That my perspective stays in a forward moving motion.
That I will continue to find other people who may be complete strangers, beautiful for what they do.
The other day I watched Kannon get laughed at over and over for his "odd" behaviors at the beach.
The stares, pointing, and verbal ridicule.
In the past this used to tear at my heart and anger would consume every part of my being...
This time however I just watched Kannon.
I didn't care about anyone else.
I watched to see if he was absorbing any of this.
He looked up a few times at some boys who were laughing and staring and he choose to wave hello and tell them "it's a beautiful day"...
This little man and his actions have helped bring me to where I am today.
Let it go, smile, and realize every day is beautiful in it's own way.
You cannot control what other people think, or for that matter let it affect your journey at all...
At the end of the day what they think or say makes no difference in the matters of how your heart develops or grows.
Sometimes other peoples actions or decisions affect us whether we like it or not, and these are the times we have to really dig and search for the greater picture...for the solidity of what walls we want to push and how hard we want to push at all.
And as I have stated before, we get to define what walls we put up and what they are made of...what we are made of to tear them down is completely up to our own choosing.
I have the honor of watching a little soul who chooses his walls be made of beautiful silk...always moving, fluid and flowing...easy to break down...and always of his own creation.
I wish for everyone to find beautiful walls that are worth putting up, simply for the purpose of finding the beauty in them, and the beauty in watching them fall down.