Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all
And sweetest is the gale is heard; and sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm...
~Emily Dickinson

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

my safe place

We all need "safe places" in our lives.
Not only physically, but emotionally.

One of my physical safe places is Target.
I can go there with Kannon without many safety issues, as he knows the layout of the store and I pretty much have his routine down as to where he will go in the store.
As other mothers know, these kiddos like routine, and they are almost methodical about their routes.
That being said, if I loose sight of Kannon for a minute, I know the general area of where he will be...and that is very comforting for me.
Some may be shaking their heads in disgust as to the fact that I will admit I loose sight of Kannon every now and then.
Walk a day in my shoes before passing judgement.

Most of the time I have a kung fu grip and eye on Kannon.
I know where he is at all times, and never take too long to look at something in a store, because I know I don't have that time...he will have run off.
As some know, it is damn near impossible to do any sort of grocery/shopping with these kiddos...so most of the time I only take him if I need a few things.

The other day I was checking out and Kannon was running in circles around me, then back and forth from me to the wall. The lady behind me in line was staring in obvious disapproval she even shook her head and sighed... I have learned not to care about such responses anymore.
In fact, I was so caught up in the simple beauty of Kannon being so happy that I just stood there and smiled at him.
No mother can resist their child's smile and laugh.
He stopped and saw that I was smiling, came up to me and kissed my chest then gave me a quick hug and took off full speed again.

These moments are so important in the public letting down their walls of ignorance.
They need to see the love.
They need to realize these kids are so diverse, yet still just kids who need love too.
Even if Kannon didn't stop to give me a kiss and hug, I hope the simple fact that I was smiling at my child and not yelling at him sent a message.
He wasn't hurting anyone...he wasn't running into people or causing anyone any inconveniences...so there was no need to stop him in my mind.

Most people look past these moments and simply just go straight to judgement.
They look at the hand flapping, head hitting, verbal ticks and yells, shoes on the wrong feet, pants on backwards and make their decision about "what's really going on"...
As a mother to Kannon I have to call their "bullshit", whether it be with words or my actions.
I prefer using actions.
He is a human being.
Not a circus act.

As I was walking out another lady stopped me who I hadn't noticed earlier.
She said "You have an adorable son, he obviously loves you"

Love is universal and undeniable when evident.

We all need our safe places.
Inside my children's love is my safest place of all...
We are all mothers at the end of the day.
It is not what defines us, but our love is powerful and what will change worlds...and hopefully break down walls.

peace :)

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